Friday, 5 February 2016

FBBMTV

You might not have otherwise given the song much attention, but when female muscle features in music videos it's difficult not to leave your personal tastes aside and get excited. One day, a better man than me is going to make an exhaustive list of every example of FBBMTV, but for today I've picked four of my own favourite examples.

CAROLYN CHESHIRE in Pump It Up by Melle Mel



DOROTHY HERNDON in Reach by Martini Ranch



Shall we have a little break?

Spot the female muscle superstar burning up the screen in this gem.



Back to the music.

MARTHE SUNDBY in Sing (The Night Is Still Young) by Camp Sounds



JILL RUDISON in Baby Blue by Action Bronson feat. Chance the Rapper


Thursday, 4 February 2016

FBBTV: The Far (Out) East

Don't ask me what is going on in today's selections from Chinese TV, I have a feeling that even if I understood what they're saying I still wouldn't be any the wiser.

Seemingly more hosts than guests, wacky sound effects, even wackier animations, and production values that would put Eurovision to shame. Oh, and Julia Vins.



More Julia on Chinese TV here.

And also from Chinese TV, Korean muscle beauty Yeon Woo-ji. Again, exactly what is going on here is beyond me. But it is definitely a lot of fun trying to work it out!



If you can take anymore, parts 2 & 3 are here.

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

FBBTV: Reality & Documentary

Reality TV seems to love a bit of female muscle.

But some muscle girls don't seem to be doing too well...





However, not all reality female muscle stories are as depressing as the women selling their clothing in order to fund their passion (no doubt), or - even worse - failing to make car payments because they are spending it all on funding their passion!

In this clip "Lori" both has her cake and eats it.



And you can watch a longer version here.

Time for a break.

We'll be back right after this...



"The very best of whatever you desire" - and that turns out to be - at least as far as a woman is concerned - a bodybuilder. And no inverted commas bodybuilder either, but Theresa herself. Why settle for anything less when you can have a true diamond?

Now that's what I call FACTUAL!

Our documentary feature today comes from Ireland.

Supersized Shes (wonder where they go the title, it's genius!) follows bodybuilders Inga Beinara and the previously seen on FMS Sophia McNamara. Enjoy!


Tuesday, 2 February 2016

FBBTV: Down Under

With women-only contests, the ultra-swoonworthy bodies of competitors like Kayla Rassatti, Taylor Smith, Chleo Van Wyk and Nicky Foord, and, most recently, news that scenes backstage at shows there are reminiscent of the last days of Rome (or perhaps a Friday night get-together at Michael Barrymore's), I think it's fair to say that Australia has been seriously upping its female muscle game in recent times.

So, our TV offering today is one Aussie talk show's take on this female "muscle mania", starring the gorgeous Tracey Lunam and Clara Wilson, and a male co-host clearly getting a good strong dose of The Madness from sitting next to two such goddesses.



And for a little older female muscle fun on Aussie TV, check out NABBA legend Anne Marie Lasserre, looking as amazing as ever (just two weeks out from a contest) on what seems to be the Australian equivalent of the UK's A League of Their Own.



Enjoy, and don't forget to tune in tomorrow!

Monday, 1 February 2016

FBBTV: Will Cyd Survive?

I wish there were more female muscles on TV...

My own introduction to female bodybuilding was Carolyn Cheshire on TV in the mid 1980s, flexing on a popular science show called Bodymatters in an orange bikini.

It was a life-changing moment.

I recall Donna Hartley on Jonathan Ross' The Last Resort not long after that.

There was Gladiators - the women of the UK version had a lot less muscle than Raye, Erika and Shelly so the American edition was by far my preferred watch! And also from the US onto UK TV screens came the daytime talk shows Geraldo and Montel, the latter having more than one show devoted to female bodybuilders as I remember.

In those days it was a case of actually catching the show by luck - hurriedly getting the VHS recording for repeat viewings - or design - with the VHS cued up ready to go! If you didn't see it at the time, you had to wait for the internet to be invented to do so.

Times have changed. When one or more FBBs are on TV anywhere in the world, it isn't long before clips are posted on the forums. There are (or were in the case of the UK) whole TV channels devoted to the fitness industry that regularly feature muscular women and which also have their own YouTube channels to view at your leisure.

Documentaries like Supersize She or Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends or Jodie Marsh on Steroids haven't always painted FBBs (or us fans) in the kind of light we would wish, but in general these days mainstream TV (that I've seen anyway) almost always portrays women with muscle in a positive way, and a forthcoming UK TV documentary featuring Welsh fitness tycoon Kate Austin promises to continue that trend.

And this month in the US, the very gorgeous IFBB Figure Pro Cydney Gillon - a two-time Chicago Pro champ and two-time Olympia contestant nonetheless - is one of the castaways in the new series of Survivor (CBS, first episode Feb. 17th, apparently).

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Appearing briefly in a season preview - fast forward to 0.48 - Cydney describes herself as "a woman who takes care of her body, not eating double cheeseburgers all day". And here, kicking off a week of FBBTV on FMS, is her "Meet the Castaways" introduction.



Go Cydney!

Sunday, 31 January 2016

(Female) Muscle Cars

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We kick off our final selection of female muscle and cars with a frankly mild welcome from the female muscle brand that is Cindy Landolt. But this particular selection comes from Swell's "Special Favourites" folder, so fear not, because - just like a car engine on a frosty January morning - it's going to get damn hot damn quick!

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Guess Cindy really likes that upholstery.

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And I really like Paloma Parra's shoulders in that tight tight T-shirt of hers below. I bet she gets them right pumped up when she gets the chamois out and buffs up that shine. Bet she attracts quite a crowd - all pretending to admire the Merc of course.

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I couldn't imagine a better pair of shoulders in a car pic.

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I hadn't accounted for Supergirl, aka Emily Ingram. "S" for *SWOOOON!*

And meanwhile at the car show...

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You know they are car crazies when they're looking at the wheels and not at the glamorous beef of muscle goddess Jacqueline Fuchs. Beautiful lines, and horsepower to burn. And I expect those cars are pretty high-performance as well.

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This is how I settle my bills at the mechanic, Jay tells us.

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No trips to the garage are necessary for amateur Physique star Kylie Jean Vandenbrand though. She can get under the "hood" as I believe she would call it.

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With those pythons it looks like she could lift the whole damn engine out!

Now earlier in the week I may have given the impression that I'm not into the in-car single bicep selfie, but the point I was trying to make was they have become so commonplace that finding a really, really great one involves a lot of searching.

A very honorable mention then for one that I'm sure I've posted before - Jessica Graham proving once again that Figure girls flex everywhere except on stage.

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But FMS' in-car single bicep selfie queen has got to be powerlifter Lisa Rothman.

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Left, right, "duck face", eyebrow flex - Lisa's work has it all and more.

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Stunning beauty. And she can bench every car we've featured this week.

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Probably.

And we leave you with two more of FMS' favourite swoons...

THERESA

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Don't you just love how she's squeezing that wheel and making those pecs ripple?

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And ANNIE, being - for once - a bit coy in the pec department.

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For less coyness, more NSFW-ness, click here.

Enjoy!

Saturday, 30 January 2016

(Female) Muscle Cars: Dani Special

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One woman, her cars. And her muscle.

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Just about everything we've seen so far this week - selfies, candids, glamour, leather, biceps, bling, the so-called "duck face", and a bunch of pics where the car may not be evident at first - all starring everybody's ultimate passenger seat muscle fantasy.

Although sometimes she takes a different four wheels out.

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Shades on. Guns out.

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Just imagine seeing her drive by!

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Gentlemen, start your engines.

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Beautifully, lovingly built.

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A powerful beast.

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Coming soon. (Lil) Monsta Trucks.

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And we leave you for today with Dani in motor muscle motion...


Friday, 29 January 2016

(Female) Muscle Cars

We're gonna need a bigger boat car...

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Seriously though, it seems to me that if - like me - you're driving a 10-year-old second-hand Golf that needs a wash you are neither helping the environment much and nor are you likely to impress any high-powered muscle goddesses with your (grimy) wheels.

BIG beautiful women need a BIG beautiful car.

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Responding to the picture of my beloved Golf I sent her, IFBB Physique Pro Keri Ann Heitzman told me that she never takes her top off for anything less than serious bling and "even seriouser" horse power, and helpfully attached this by way of illustration.

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Call that a car, wrote Jill Mills. This is a car!

Undaunted, I kept trying.

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Sell that dirty old thing, Monica told me. You might get something for it. And then you could spend it on, let's see, about three minutes of unforgettable webcam with me!!!

Me (and my Golf) were starting to feel a little inadequate. I needed a more sympathetic ear, a response that would at least not be so damn dismissive. I'll try Lisa, I thought.

We go way back, you see, and she's never had anything but nice things to say.

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You're gonna need a bigger car, she said.

But she also said she'd passed my picture on to a woman who was less Madonna in the first 4.25 of the Material Girl video, and more Madonna in the last fifteen seconds...

I wondered and I waited, and then this arrived in my inbox.

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Nice car, the message read.

Thursday, 28 January 2016

(Female) Muscle Cars

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Leilani Dalumpines & Tamar Makar

Today, it's female muscle car fun from rear.

Or just kind of over their (extremely sexy) shoulders.

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Bombastic Brazilian FMS fave Geisi Silva decides which car to steal.

And later, as she makes her getaway...

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Geisi, of course, does not steal cars. Looking like that she gets given them.

And so, I imagine, does Swedish Bikini phenomenon Caroline Aspenskog.

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Once again I am pleasantly surprised by the amount of muscle on a Bikini competitor, and knowing that while she is sashaying around on that stage (and whipping the audience into a right frenzy you will note) Caroline is dying to just flex those muscles of hers brings a whole new level of enjoyment to this 2013 Fitness Festivalen clip. And the pleasant surprises continued as I watched - agog, or should that be Aspensgog - this more recent training clip of hers. Surely you are not allowed to perform some of those frankly X-rated movements in a public gym until after the watershed!

Some call it "duck face", I call it HOT!

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Puckering up at the sight of her own muscle here is Emelye-Jane Pearson, who, as far as I can recall, is the first muscle goddess we've featured here who was born in Papua New Guinea. Now based in Queensland, Australia, Emelye-Jane is on Facebook, and in the few photos of her flexing that I've found her pride is very evident.

Quite possibly the world's sexiest Dental Assistant.

And now, quite possibly the world's sexiest woman...

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Or at least she'd be the nailed-on bookies' favourite to come out on top in this year's Hot and Hard 100 (if the bookies were interested that is) given she only lost out to Shannon last year by a bicep vein and Shannon's no longer a "bodybuilder".

Start thinking about your votes for the Hot and Hard 100 2016.

And finally...

I can't decide if it would be sexier if this were a posed shot or a chance candid - if Annette Garcia had told the photographer to get out of the car and snap her flexing or whether some lucky female muscle head just chanced across her doing it and somehow managed to get their phone out and keep their hands steady enough to capture the moment before The Madness took them over completely.

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Or, even better! Female muscle head stumbles across Annette's magnificent arm hanging out the window, she sees said head lining up the shot in the mirror and then casually gives the lucky b'stard the greatest gun show they've ever seen anyway!

Yes, definitely the last one. So arrogant! Yes, I'm going to believe that one...